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During a car ride earlier in the day, she excitedly pointed out landmarks: the creek where she and Britany used to play as kids; a weathered tree house in the front yard of the former Maack family home; the piney woods she and her friends used to think were haunted.“It’s such a surreal, emotional thing,” Swift says.“When you’re a little kid, you’re riding the same roads to school every single day, hundreds of times.Taylor notices a man stepping into his car in the driveway. The man immediately gives what can only be described as a Holy crap–it’s–Taylor Swift look. He invites us to have a look around, and we all pile out.“This must really bring back some memories,” Dave says.“Yeah, this is crazy,” Taylor says.

People tell you little tips, but that’s different from actually taking a class and getting certified.”“No.

It is the kind of quaint, Norman Rockwell–ian detail that sounds a bit too precious, too good to be true. Soon we arrive at a clearing with a barn and a small farmhouse. Taylor and Andrea have not made any calls or arrangements about visiting.

It’s going to be a random drop-in from a pop star, like the Taylor Swift Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes or something. The man’s name is Dave Schaeffer, and he has lived here with his wife, Debbie, for about six years.

No, that maid of honor, currently fussing over and straightening out the train of the bride’s gown, is Taylor—Scott and Andrea Swift’s older kid, Austin’s big sister, who grew up barely a five-minute drive away and used to go for ice cream at the Friendly’s down the street. “She really wanted me to be a horseback rider, and I did it competitively until I worked up the nerve at age twelve to tell her I didn’t really love it like she loved it.“I just wanted to make music and do theater,” she says.

To be clear: I’m not saying the people in this church aren’t aware that Scott and Andrea’s kid turned into, you know, —it’s hilarious to watch the flower girls try to keep it together, and the nuns seem pretty jazzed, too—but that’s not the story today. And the only evidence that the maid of honor is you-know-who is the paparazzi who have gathered at the bottom of the hill, hoping to snag a photo with their long lenses. A treasured footnote to the Taylor Swift backstory is that she spent much of her childhood being raised at, of all places, a Christmas-tree nursery called Pine Ridge Farm. “So I’ve been a big disappointment.”“I’ve gotten over the bitterness, finally,” Andrea says sarcastically.

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